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Trust II: A Delicate Porcelain Vase Published: Sunday, April 5, 2009 By: Dr. Manuel Ángel (Coco) Morales

A few weeks ago in this column, I addressed the topic of Creating a trustworthy organizational culture.  Up today, I have received many requests for expanding a little more about these psychological and organizational dynamic.  Trust is a firm belief in the reliability of another person.  It is the foundation of all positive and healthy relationships.  It is the fine glue that holds people together through life’s most difficult experiences, work and professional challenges.  With a profound trust foundation, people can endure almost anything, and without it every interaction and every decision is a threat.  Within organizations much energy is invested in trying to respond to situations where there is the perception of lack of trust. Unfortunately, such a huge effort is much better channeled for servicing customers and market base.

The exercise of trust is virtually present in every interaction of our lives.  We trust cars, airplanes, institutions, restaurants, people and relationships.  We trust God. 

Like a hammer shattering a delicate porcelain vase, a relationship of trust can be desvasted by negative words and actions that wear a person’s soul away like sand-paper. 

Trust is eroded by the absence of love, attention, recognition and kind words and actions, specially within organizational settings.  For enhancing the trust foundation, leaders and professionals have to master the use of written and expressed words.

In order to manage the trust challenge there are three types of problems that should be avoided. 1) Blind trust – is trying to control others by attempting to over please them, doing whatever it takes to make others happy.  This means closing the eyes to the reality of the hurt, anger, lies and manipulation, and ending up trusting untrustworthy people.  2) Aggressive distrust - trying – is to control by dominating, covering insecurity by cursing, yelling, blaming and displacing own responsibility to others.  3) Passive distrust – is avoiding the possibility of being hurt by keeping distance and acting always political towards others.

The thing with some people is that they have never learned to really trust others.  Yes, you can learn to trust others by practicing with PERCEPTIVE TRUST, which is developing sight and wisdom to know who is and who is not trustworthy.   Trust must be earned more by actions and behaviors, than by words and expressions.

To have perceptive trust is to know that only God will never let us down.  All the rest of us have to work hard to improve on this matter.

So is someone wants to learn to trust perceptively it will be necessary to: 1) Identify patterns of distrust – people have to be honest about the manipulation of the past and the damage it has caused.  It also means being honest about perceptions and destructive behaviors.  Repentance and error correction enables people to choose what is good and right. 2) Gain a new perception of God, as He shows His true character and great love.  I can talk about my own experience that if you find a fellowship of believers who are experiencing the goodness and grace of God this can help people shape a healthy view of God, and embrace new trustworthy relationships.

Some steps to trust perceptively.  Blind trust people need to be more cautions in relationships and not trust so quickly.  Aggressive distrust people need to be more quiet and calm, encouraging rather than manipulating, paying attention to words and verbal expressions.  Passive distrust people need to practice with being more open and real with those they really want to trust.

A few final comments.  Find people who really understand the craft of creating a profound trust foundation.  People should approach others who can understand, encourage and speak the truth about God, and about themselves.  It is healthy to absorb the truth about God, to learn the Scriptures with an attitude of commitment and with prayer.

I am blessed by having learned and experienced that God is and always will be true to His Word.  We can count on Him to lead us and give us wisdom, peace and strength even ourselves within difficult storms.  No matter how much of our trust has been molested in the past, we can still discover that God is supremely trustworthy.  In him we can find peace and wisdom.  From the Scriptures we have learned that “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.  Proverbs 3:5-16. 


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